Repent Repent Repent!!!!
Okay that's it I'm done. Boy, I sure feel better. Don't you? What's the matter? Why are you all looking at me like that? Well, I saw a TV preacher do that and it seemed to work for him. I guess you won't let me off that easy, though. I think you're right, it's like what the famous theologian Kierkegard said, "Some things whispered are true, but when shouted they are wrong." This is how I feel about repentance. Talking about it is hard; it makes us feel uncomfortable because in order to talk about repenting we have to admit that we sin. But we need to talk about it some more anyway.
So what is repentance? Why is it so important? Who says we have to do it? And why is it so much easier to tell others to repent than to do it ourselves? And why does it seem like all the really important things in life are that way? It pretends to be really simple but the more you look at it the more difficult and complex it appears. Like the great commandment "Love your neighbor as yourself" sounds simple enough but man is it a mouth full. It's the same way with repenting. Both the verses today talk about repenting, telling us that we need and have to do it.
But what does it mean? In Ezekiel we see that it means a radical change within the heart. It says in verse 31 to "get yourself a new heart and a new spirit". That sounds pretty extreme to me. Why do I have to do that? Don't I get a second option? The answer is pretty clear NO. It says if we don't do this we are ruined; We are choosing death instead of life. "Why will you die? I have no pleasure in the death of anyone says the Lord God. Turn then, and live". Sin is a type of death. Sin is anything that separates us from the love of God. When we have sinned and not repented, the sin blocks us from being able to accept fully God's love, sin keeps us from God's mercy.
Sin is like mud on a window. God's love and mercy is like the sun trying to shine through to us to light our way, cheer us and give us life. But the mud keeps the sun from shining through the window. The mud stops the rays from reaching us. It doesn't stop God from trying to shine on us but it stops us from being able to receive the light of the world. With the tears of repentance we ask forgiveness and the mud is washed away. So the reason repenting is so important is because without it we have obstacles between us and God's grace.
But for some reason we're not comfortable with this, it just doesn't seem fair! The problem is that we don't like the aspect of repentance that requires judgment, especially in today's politically correct society. We feel uncomfortable with the idea of judging or being judged. Good! It isn't our job to judge others. But it is our responsibility to call others to repent, the judgment is between them and God. The purpose of God's judgment is to make me see and recognize what I have done wrong. Once I acknowledge my sin and ask forgiveness, I am immediately and absolutely forgiven. God's mercy is always there waiting for us to make our way to it.
But unlike God, as human beings we have to really struggle with this; we have to really work to offer mercy to those who have hurt us. Even when we see that they are sorry, it is still very difficult and sometimes in our humanness the pain makes it impossible for us to forgive the wrong done against us; but we are called to try. Luke is straightforward in telling us that Jesus expects us to "Be merciful, just as God is merciful". We are made in God's image and part of what that means is that we are capable of mercy. In the animal kingdom this concept just doesn't exist. But we are called to forgive because God forgives us. Mercy and forgiveness are never easy for us to give. We often feel much more comfortable judging than forgiving. When someone has done something wrong we want to shake our finger at them; we want them to feel bad about it, but we don't want to have to offer them mercy once they acknowledge that what they did was wrong. We want to keep saying how wrong they are, instead of forgiving them. It depends on the amount of pain they caused us or others that we love; if they did something really horrible we don't want to forgive them and sometimes we can't let go of the sin done against us in order to forgive them.
This is a personal struggle for me. Have you seen the movie "Dead Man Walking"? If you haven't I highly recommend it. It is an excellent (adult) movie worth seeing more than once; but it's also a difficult movie to watch. The story centers on a nun who becomes pen pals with a death row inmate. Over time they really come to know one another. She feels sorry for him because he is so lonely and has had a hard life. She feels called to tell him about God's love and forgiveness. As she finds out more about him she comes to understand what a horrible crime he has committed and how jaded and prejudiced he is. She is repulsed by the terrible things he has done but she feels, as a Christian, she must continue to share the power of Christ's sacrifice and redemption. On the one hand she condemns what he has done but she keeps showing him God's love and forgiveness. She keeps pointing him towards repentance. He resists, but is drawn to the kindness that she offers him. He wants what she is offering but does not want to have to admit what he has done or ask forgiveness for it. She is very clear that he can not accept God's mercy without first repenting. He wants that mercy. She stays with him on death row through personal hardship and turmoil. At the same time she is struggling to speak of God's mercy with this man, there are others who are telling her that he doesn't deserve any mercy. The parents of his victim get really angry with her for caring for him. They have so much pain, and hurt, and anger; and she is so touched by them, she understands how they feel. They want her to stop seeing the convict. She says she can't. They judge her for not condemning him. She says that what he did was wrong and terrible but that even he has a right to hear about God's mercy, kindness and forgiveness.
In that moment I find myself crying out "Even him?" But that can't be right; he is so evil! So bad. He can't be loved and forgiven... yet at the same time I feel the pain of recognition. It isn't fair that I am forgiven for my sins either. I don't deserve mercy or kindness or forgiveness. I sin. I make mistakes and there is nothing I can do to deserve God's grace. So, "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge and you will not be judged; do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Whether or not it is fair I have to try. Besides what am I saying other wise? That the "way of the Lord is unfair"? God responds, "Oh house of Israel, are my ways unfair? Is it not your ways that are unfair?" When God's grace through repentance is offered to others it seems too easy, when it is offered to us is seems too hard but either way it seems unfair to us. But it is our ways that are unfair.
I have had a personal experience with this. Back when I was teaching High School, I had a friend who was a youth minister for a Lutheran church. He was a lot younger than I was and he used to ask me a lot of advice because my students were the same age as his youth group. I started noticing that his life seemed to be revolving around his youth group. I suggested that he needed to do stuff with people closer to his own age. The truth was that he was only five years older than most of his kids, but the difference between 21 and 16 is large; and the difference between being their minister and a member of their group is even larger. Each time I would talk to him I would hear more and more about the peopple in his youth group, and in particular one young girl. This really worried me and I told him that. But he didn't listen. The next time I heard from him he showed up at my house crying and very upset. He had been found in a compromising situation with the young girl. He knew he had done a terrible thing. Afterwards he had gone with her and told her parents. He had taken full responsibility for what had occurred. Then he went to his supervisor admitted what had happened, taken full responsibility, and resigned. He ached with sorrow for what he had done.
I saw his pain and yet I couldn't respond. I sat there in shock and horror. I was furious with him. I couldn't believe that he had done such a thing. How could he of broken her sacred trust like that? I let him talk and talk and talk. And as I sat there I realized that he knew he had sinned, and was repenting of it and was seeking mercy, kindness and forgiveness. I hurt. I was so torn. But all I could think was: "What he did was so bad". And then I thought, "He knows that. What am I supposed to do now, God?" I finally said to him, "What do you want from me?" He looked up and said, "I want someone to tell me that God can love me even though I have done this." I paused. "God loves you even though you have done this terrible thing," I started. "No one can struggle with this mistake for you. But I am here to listen. You have sinned, but so have I and God can forgive us both..." We say it every week here in worship in the prayer that Jesus taught us, "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us". It is not God's ways that are unfair but our ways that are unfair.
So I say to you again... Repent, Repent, Repent. Know the mercy, grace, kindness and love of God. But I have to add to that: Forgive, Forgive, Forgive. For Jesus told us to be merciful just as God is merciful with us, and to forgive just as we are forgiven.
Amen
© 1998 Rev. Elizabeth Lee Self
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Copyright © 1996-1999 Kevin and Lee Self Last Updated: March 1, 1999 Obligatory Disclaimer |