Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. What a beautiful, simple, and powerful statement of faith. Our Scripture reading this morning from Romans says the same thing, but it goes into more detail. That detail makes it really clear just how powerful a statement it is. (Romans 8:38-39) Wow. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Nothing. How wonderful, how glorious, how empowering, and how difficult to believe. Why is it difficult for me believe? My answer is pretty simple, because I sin. Because I sin, because I make mistakes, because I am not perfect. How can I deserve to be loved by God like that? I can't. I can't deserve it, I can't be good enough or do enough to deserve. If not sinning or making mistakes were the prerequisites I would fail miserably. But Praise God it's not! God loves us not because we deserve it but because God chooses to love us. That's it. End of story.
Let me ask you parents a question. When your children act up and break rules do you stop loving them? Yes, you may get angry with them, but even when your angry do you stop loving them? Of course, you don't love the misbehavior, but your child, your child you love. Now if we as finite, limited beings can do that for our children, can you imagine how much better God is at doing it for us. God is our example of how a parent loves their children. We are the unconditionally loved children of God. Let me say that again. You are the unconditionally loved child of God. That is so wonderful, glorious, and empowering, and so difficult for us to accept. In the moments that we do accept it our lives are forever changed.
Whenever I speak of God's unconditional love I speak of it as someone who really needs it. It always reminds me of my call. I introduced myself to you earlier but I think it's only fair that I give you my testimony. Because that is how you can really start to know who I am.
I wish I had a beautiful story to tell you that is full of light and glory so you could all say, "Oh yes, how perfect she is, we are really lucky to have someone so free from sin as our associate minister." I wish I could, but my call wasn't like that...
When I was twelve, in church one day I felt the Holy spirit fill my heart. I whispered to my Mom that I wanted to make my Confession of Faith that day. She whispered back that she was happy that I felt drawn to do that, but let's talk to our minister after church and set a time for me to do it. I shook my head "yes" but my heart was saying "What? Wait! No Way!" So communion was over, and the invitation hymn was being sung. I really tried to mind my Mother because I love her, but this time I couldn't do it. Tears started streaming down my face, and I pushed her out into the aisle and pushed past her. I don't really remember doing it but she tells me that I did. Mom followed me down front, and I made my Confession of Faith that day. I also knew from that day that I was called to be a minister. So you're thinking to yourself, "So far it's a pretty wonderful story" and I agree with you. That day was a crystal clear moment in my life where I was able to accept the unconditional love of God, and it was and is a wonderful, glorious, and empowering moment in my life.
But we need to talk more about this "call thing." Time passed and I grew up. I wish that I had been like Abraham, in the Old Testament, and when God called me I had simply responded with "Here I am Lord" and gone where God led me. But I didn't. I was a lot more like Moses, saying "Are you sure you have the right person? Isn't there someone else you could ask? Look, I'm not good at the things I need to be good at to lead people. God how will I ever know how to accept, show, and live with representing Your authority?" But Moses only kept asking questions, I kept trying to put up obstacles and make excuses, too. "God, I need to go to college. God, I will be a teacher and share my gifts and talents with my students. God, I have this other thing to do first, or I have a another way to do it --my way." The things I was doing weren't bad things they just weren't what I knew God wanted me to do. And underneath everything, something was missing. I never felt whole or complete. And I made a lot of mistakes.
I married a man who didn't believe in God and didn't like the church. I gave up my job for him, I gave up church for him. Then he fell in love with someone else, and he left me. I had no job, no husband, and no church. I had nothing. I was lost and in terrible pain and sorrow. Nothing and no one could comfort me.
Then one night I was laying on my bed crying. And that night in my darkest and deepest despair, I questioned if I even had a reason to go on living. I thought maybe I should give up because I had made so many mistakes and had amounted to nothing. I was 28 years old and all the things in the world that I had based my adult identity on were gone. I had no profession and no husband. And in my moment of desperation at last I reached out to God. I asked for God's help. I prayed that if there was any reason for me to go on living, that God please help me find it. I prayed that God help me. And when I had nothing, when finally all the obstacles I had put up were gone, when I was at my most lost, desperate, and vulnerable, God sent the Holy Spirit to hold me and comfort me. When I felt I had nothing left God wrapped his arms around me and said, "You are the unconditionally loved child of God." And finally with nothing else to save me, with none of my own will left, I accepted God's love and forgiveness. And in that moment God reminded me, again, of his will for my life. He called me and finally, finally I answered, "Here I am Lord". And my acceptance of God's love was wonderful, glorious, and empowering and it was one of the most difficult things that I have ever done.
From my own experience, I came to recognize that nothing can separate us from the love of God. My sorrow, pain, joy, and happiness none of these can keep me from God's love. God is always there throughout everything loving me, and you.
I saw a sign one time that read, "If God feels far away, who moved?" That's it. If I don't feel close to God, it's because I'm doing something that makes me feel distant, but God, God keeps on loving me, no matter what. The example my professor at seminary gave was: It's the difference between how you feel about love. When you are wonderfully, gloriously, and powerfully in love with someone all of life looks different. When two people are in love they want to spend lots of their time together. They want to be very involved with each other lives. They are really invested in learning about each others opinions and interests. And the more time they spend together the more wonderful they feel. It is a glorious experience. They are empowered by loving each other. But let's change the picture just a little. Let's say that someone is in love with you, but you are not in love with them. Now they act just the same as I just described. They want to be with you all the time, they care about everything you say and do, this person wants to be very involved in your life. But you don't love them... how do you feel about the way this person is treating you? Do you like it and want more? No, you feel uncomfortable being around them. You feel sad and guilty because you aren't in love with them, too. And if they persist, you start feeling harassed and eventually you get angry at them and want them to leave you alone." This is how it is in our relationship with God. Sometimes we are able to accept God's love and then things are wonderful, glorious, and empowering. Other times we feel that we can't accept God's love and so then God's love feels different to us. God's love doesn't change-- we do, and our perception of it does.
Rabbi Harold Kushner said, "We need to give ourselves permission to be human, to try and to stumble. Life is like the baseball season, where even the best team loses at least a third of its games and even the worst team has its days of brilliance. The goal is not to win every game but to win more than you lose, and if you do that often enough, in the end you may find you have won it all."
Why? Because nothing can separate us from the love of God, not even our errors. Nothing can separate us from the love of God not our sin, not our imperfections, not our lives or our deaths, not our coming or our going, not even our perceptions. Whether or not we are able to accept God's love does not keep God from loving us. We are all the unconditionally loved children of God. You and you and you and you are the unconditionally loved child of God. And the moments that you can accept that are the most wonderful, glorious, and empowering times of your life, and you and I are forever changed by them. Amen.
© 1998 Rev. Elizabeth Lee Self
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